The membership request approvals are at the site collection level, while the login page is at the web application level. I'm thinking maybe you have the settings set in a child site collection, while attempting to login to the root site collection. ie
your site collection (and fba pack settings) is at:
, but you are just logging into
. Otherwise what you're doing should work.
Also, make sure that 'Review Membership Requests' is checked on the fba site configuration page.
Finally, make sure that the secure token service web.config membership provider entries match those in the the machine.config/web application web.config. If those don't match, it could give you the problems listed. (However if the fba pack administration pages
and web parts are working fine on the site collection, this should be ok).